From Picky Dater

Hi Betsy!

First of all, thanks for having this opportunity to talk with you! I wish more people would do that. I'm 43 years old & have always been single, which I really hate. I have dated, but not many times. I've never had a girlfriend, to say NOTHING of ever having come close to marriage. I could've dated more & I could've had girlfriends, but I guess I'm pickier than other guys. My standards are higher than some guys, which I know has a lot to do with it. I don't want to try lowering them, nor do I feel I could. It hurts me a lot to have missed out this much, & it's frustrating. I've had people compliment me, tell me I'm good looking, handsome, cute, etc. Some of those people said they were surprised I didn't have a girlfriend. I've never gone to a dance with a girl, & I've never gone to prom. I know I'm probably making all this too important. Some people thought I haven't really missed out on anything, but I wish I could agree. My cousin told me long ago that with trying to date, that I was trying too hard. Maybe he was right.So, how do you recommend getting a date or a girlfriend?

Dear Picky dater,

You have come to the right place to ask this question because I love giving feed back about dating and relationships. First let me recommend a book called “The relationship Handbook” by George Pransky. It’s one of the best books I know of to learn the ins and outs of being in relationship successfully. From my perspective the past is over (no need to dwell on it, what you “should” have done differently) and we don’t know what the future holds so let’s stick with today. From what I’m hearing, you would like to begin your dating life with the intention of “Calling in the one.” (That’s a good book as well.) The universe meets us where we are, meaning we will get help but we need to take action steps as well. Here are my ideas for how you may choose to begin dating. Get on a dating app. Write your profile take some photos (good lighting is key) and begin asking girls out! It’s best to think of it as a way to get your feet wet and practice dating! Ask a girl out for coffee. Start noticing what your preferences are. Make a list of the top 3 important qualities you’re looking for in a partner and forget the rest. Don’t make every date so meaningful. Some of these women you may decide to be friends with. Female friends are wonderful especially when figuring out your dating style. Date with a sense of humor. Enjoy yourself and remember your wife is out there looking for you so get busy finding her!

Betsy RussellDating