From Shy Guy

Hi Betsy,

It's so wonderful to speak with you. I'm 22 years old, and I'm a high-functioning autistic. When I was a child, I was always locked in my own world, I was very shy. I've been improving over these years, but I still remain a shy person with a low social intelligence. I’ll give an example: when I try to meet or talk to a girl, I don't know what to say to her, and that makes me anxious and nervous. What can I do to become a more sociable person and be more at ease with myself?

Dear shy guy,

Firstly I want to acknowledge you for reaching out to me to ask for help. That took a lot of courage. I know for myself the more I do things in life that are scary at first end up becoming comfortable the more that I do them. A lot of times we don't know why we are feeling anxious or uncomfortable. Try tuning into how you're feeling. Notice what you're thinking. It's the thought that you're choosing to let take up space in your head that may be scary which is causing you to feel bad, uncomfortable, negative or insecure. Maybe it's your insecure thinking that's causing your insecure feeling. There is a wonderful book by George pransky called "The relationship handbook" that I strongly recommend reading. Remember the most growth takes place outside of our comfort zone. I suggest waiting until you're in a good mood and feeling happy, then... Take a deep breath and ask a girl out for a movie or a cup of coffee. Ask out 10 girls! one will probably say yes! If you don't have expectations you may be pleasantly surprised by what ends up happening! Good luck and have fun!!!

Betsy RussellShy