From Forgetful

Hi Betsy,

So I'm 50 , happily married for 30 years, with two grown children both out of college and both successful in their careers. I am much in demand as a corporate executive, healthy, happy, and financially well off. In short, I have everything. However, when I was young and impressionable, an actress playing a role scientifically crafted to mesmerize young men made an indelible impression. The role in the film, of course, is a fictional character, and the actress who played her is, I am certain, nothing like the character she played. But it is one of the cognitive defects of humans that we take stories for reality, and once your brain is wired in a certain way, it is devilishly difficult to unwire it. I'd love to go days, weeks, or an eternity without thinking of that film or that character. I'm sure I'd be better off without it. In fact, there is much in my youth that I'd love to forget, and traumas that seemed so magnified when viewed through youthful eyes that they have resulted in psychological scarring completely out of line with any actual harm. So...How would a certified life coach respond to the question, "How can we forget?”

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Dear forgetful

I get the part about my characters from the past making an indelible impression on you, well played:) But to me it sounds as though some parts of your question are serious and you have some unpleasant memories, so here is my feed back. Memories are ghosts from the past. They are an illusion. And the only reason they exist in the present is because you choose to think about them. We have over 70k thoughts a day and we get to choose which ones take up real estate in our minds. Next time those nasty thoughts plague you swipe left!